How I became more confident in talking about my vision impairment

I want to explore this in more depth because, to me, confidence is more than simply being a chatty person or being content with the way you look; there are so many more threads to it that I think deserve to be addressed. 

This isn’t my first nod to the topic of confidence here on my blog, having detailed my struggle with confidence and self-confidence in the past. But what about confidence (I’ll space out my use of that word soon, I promise) in the context of vision impairment? 

This is a topic that I’m yet to tackle, but I’m sitting here with the aim of changing that today. 

My blog’s pages capture a lot of honesty and openness when it comes to my vision impairment and, when casting my mind back, I’m honestly quite shocked at how much I’ve divulged, seeing as I haven’t always been so open in my life offline. 

I consider myself lucky in the sense that many people have reached out to me in my time as a blogger, and I’ve noted a reoccurring pattern in the way a few of them have shared their own woes when it comes to confidence, specifically when addressing their impairment and opening up about it to the people in their lives. 

I’ve been there, I’m still there sometimes, muting my anxieties and concerns out of fear of being a burden. 

But progress has been made over the past few years and I’ve been able to identify a few things that help me to gradually build on my own confidence in disclosing my vision impairment and talking through my thoughts, feelings and experiences. 

I thought I’d share a few with you because I know how much I could have benefited from reading something like this when I was younger, and I can imagine that someone else might be wanting to hear the same things. 

How i became more confident in talking about my vision impairment

THE BACKSTORY 

It wouldn’t be a blog post of mine without a little backstory for context, but I’ll try to keep this short. 

I was always encouraged to “be more confident” as a child. I was constantly feeling the pressure to speak more, to be more. My parents were always fending off questions like ’Is Elin this quiet at home?’ to which they’d always answer with a resounding “no”, because I wasn’t, but my at-home chatter was never something I could transfer to situations outside the comfortable parameters of my home or my circle of friends. 

It wasn’t just confidence in the respect of socialising that I lacked. I also found it difficult to open up about my vision impairment and its impact on my life. 

Angst would radiate through me, gripping me and pulling me back from indulging in any form of conversation regarding my condition. 

The words I did share on the topic were often lacklustre, they were references reserved for practical conversations like what format did I want my work adapted into; did I want to start using a white cane again; which screen-reader voice did I prefer? The list went on. 

But beyond that, I hardly shared my anxieties or the negative commentary that I often found myself listening to. 

I retained my subscription to this way of going about my day-to-day life, diligently maintaining a blasé approach;

“I’m fine.”

“It’s all good.”

“No big deal.” 

These were all things that I tried to convince myself, even when my world was fading before me. 

Funnelling my subconscious pain into this dismissive approach was not my best move, I have to say. 

Misconceptions and other people’s perceptions also played a part in why I chose not to speak much about my impairment. They seemed to reinforce my wariness and sparked scepticism that convinced me I’d be judged for opening up. 

 I could be on the presuppose of sharing a detail, a thought or a worry, but this sudden wave of anxiety about the reaction I’d receive would wash the words away, deeming me silent once more.

Now, a good few years down the line, I can say that things have changed – I have five and a half years worth of blog posts to prove it. But how did I get there? 

Well, that’s exactly what I want to talk through today because so many people have reached out to me over the past few years, sharing the same sentiments and illustrating the fact that they have or do lack confidence in terms of talking about their impairment, and I know from personal experience that it can help massively to know that you’re not the only one. 

So, here I am; lending this small window of opportunity to share how I wriggled out of that state, and how I grew to feel a little more confident in addressing my impairment as time went by. 

I hope you find some of this helpful or relatable in some way. 

Support from my loved ones

I’m lucky in the sense that my family and friends have provided me with unwavering support over the years.

My parents have admitted that it wasn’t easy to witness my reservations and lack of confidence, both in terms of socialising and in the respect of opening up about my vision impairment but some gentle encouragement by them sure did help me along the way.

I think it’s important to provide that reassurance and assert the fact that we’re all in this together.

Being vision impaired can be a lonely experience at times which might contribute to lack of confidence, so knowing that you have a support network around you can make all the difference. 

Talking to others in a similar situation 

For me, reassurance has also come in the form of conversations with others in a similar situation, and the friendships that have been born from those connections. 

I was very reluctant to connect with others in a similar situation when I was a little one since it seemed to make everything more real for me at the time, and a part of me didn’t want to admit the reality of the situation to myself.

But I’ve grown to realise how beneficial it can be to chat to others who are in the same boat. Those people understand where you’re coming from in a way that those without the same life experience could never fully comprehend, despite their best efforts to. 

Having those conversations and learning about how others go about talking about their own vision impairments has definitely helped me in terms of identifying the best ways of sharing my own thoughts, worries and experiences.

I also found that, as blogs and personal articles gained traction, so did my relief. I had never felt represented in any space when growing up so seeing those pieces helped me to feel more confident in knowing that there were people out there, feeling and experiencing similar things to me. It was quite the revelation.

I’m forever encouraging others to connect with people in a similar situation to themselves now, it can be just the boost you need. 

Writing

Discovering a way to channel my thoughts was one of the biggest turning points for me.

I’ve always been a writer of sorts so the passion has always been there, but when I started noting my thoughts and feelings relating to sight loss down aged twelve, that was the lightbulb moment that helped me to realise that some of the weight could be lifted from my shoulders purely through writing about how I felt. 

These personal musings evolved into the creation of my blog a few years later and, whilst it was daunting to share such a personal aspect of my life online to begin with, it led me to so many other people in a similar situation.

I really do think that writing about my experience of living with RP has bolstered my confidence in talking about it offline too. My family and friends have echoed this over the past couple of years which goes to show that progress has been made. 

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Writing allowed me to purge some of the feelings that had been stacking up in the back of my mind and afforded me the opportunity to address feelings that I didn’t feel comfortable in disclosing verbally. 

But it eventually translated into more confidence in talking about things away from my laptop screen too, and I think I’ve finally found that happy-medium between writing and talking, even if writing still takes the lead in how I prefer to share my thoughts. That’s just me. 

I definitely recognise how blogging/writing has aided my confidence; this blog of mine has surprisingly garnered media attention over the years, leading me to agree to a few TV and radio interviews, as well as a few chats with students carrying out research. Considering the fact that I could barely open up to those closest to me a few years ago, this is quite miraculous. 

 Now, speaking about my experiences in this sense is much more nerve-racking than through my blog, let me tell you, but I think it has definitely helped me to identify the best and most comfortable way of narrating my story. 

There are days when I don’t want to comb through the details, but I can say that I’ll happily witter on about my experiences when someone wants to know something, within reason, of course. 

Working in the charity sector 

When my time at sixth form was done and dusted, I was lucky in the sense that I knew I had a job to hop into after a little break over the summer. It was a trainee role with a sight loss charity for the next year, a position which afforded me the opportunity to learn so much about the sight loss sector and the people charities support. 

My eyes were opened to different people’s experiences and perspectives, and working with those people boosted my confidence.

Not only did I grow in confidence in terms of delivering services but I also learned so much in terms of how others talked about their own vision impairments, how they asked for support and advice and many more things that I could then apply to my own approach.

This has been a continuous pattern throughout other roles I’ve had in the charity sector since then, it can honestly be such a rich landscape in terms of lessons, support and advice you can take away from it. 

Now, I’m not going to sit here and tell you that you should get yourself a job in the charity sector to boost your own confidence because it simply won’t be the answer for everyone, plus you might not have any interest in the field, but finding a vocation, whether it be a paid job, a voluntary role or simply an activity that makes you feel comfortable in speaking about your needs and your experiences can make all the difference. 

I personally find it really beneficial to be in a space where people are either in a similar situation or are open minded and are willing to listen to your voice. 

Acceptance

I’ve written about acceptance on here more times than I can count, but I do think that it’s one of the key aspects of my confidence building. 

When I was younger, I didn’t necessarily understand my vision impairment and everything it would entail for me and my life. I found it difficult to accept the fact that the way I saw the world was continuously changing and therefore, explaining that to others when I didn’t fully understand it myself proved challenging. 

But, over the years, the pieces to this mammoth and confusing puzzle have started to fall into place and, with that, I’ve learned to accept many aspects of my impairment. 

I can’t sit here and claim that I’ve fully accepted every facet of life with sight loss, but I can say that I feel all the more confident after becoming more comfortable with some aspects of it.

Taking one step at a time

I can imagine that this has been the motto for many of us throughout the course of 2020, but it’s something I’ve always applied to the way I live my life. 

It’s not always possible, but I try my best to take every day as it comes. When living with a deteriorating eye condition, there’s no telling what things are going to be like from one day to the next, so I find it easier to focus on the here and now. 

It’s easier said than done sometimes but there are going to be good days, and there are going to be bad ones in contrast, but one bad day isn’t going to determine what the next will bring. 

This is a journey and everything happens in stages, at different times, I think that has been one of the biggest take aways for me throughout my sight loss journey and sometimes, I feel all the more confident in reaffirming that to myself. 

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I think that confidence will forever be a work in progress, for me at least. But these are just some of the things that have helped me to grow over the past few years.

Different things work for different people so it’s all about pinpointing the most helpful factor for you personally, and utilising that until your heart’s content. 

It’s not always easy, but finding things that lift you up along the way can make all the difference so take and celebrate any win, no matter how big or small, wherever you can. Sometimes, they can be found in the most surprising of places. 

All of the above have definitely helped to dilute some of the anxiety I had when it came to talking about my vision impairment, but I’d love to hear what works for you. Do you draw power from talking to others in a similar situation, channeling your thoughts into a creative form, or maybe your confidence stems from something completely different? 

I’ve definitely found novelty in discovering things and techniques that help my personal progress, and I’m slowly learning to regard my VI related feelings and emotions with more care. I’m recognising the benefits of being more open  but also, I’m learning that if I want to address those feelings in more of a personal space purely through writing about them, that’s okay too. 

There’s no right or wrong way here so go at your own pace, you’ve got this <3 

Elin x