Small steps I’m taking to build my confidence

There has always been a natural wave of self-doubt in my personality which has contributed to my lack of confidence, also caused by judgements that have been made about me over the years. 

But luckily for me, the support of my family and friends has been second to none and the confidence they have in me and the words of wisdom they’ve shared has in time spurred me on to believe more in myself and, with that, the confidence I know I have has started to shine through a little more. 

My confidence is something I try to work on everyday, I’m definitely in a better position with it now than I was but there’s still progress to be made. We’re forever working on ourselves, aren’t we? 

I’ve mentioned before that I was bullied when I was younger, outcasted because of my disability which meant that I never felt as though I ‘fit’ in. The bullying, amongst other things, meant that my confidence was knocked quite dramatically and I was then seen as the quiet one, the one who didn’t speak up for herself and this meant that for a lot of people, I was an easy target.

That could be pretty tough. 

Being scared to walk into a room, afraid of the laughter, stares and sniggers is something no one should have to feel but I bet a lot of us have done at some point in our lives. This was my reality every day when I was in school and that is something that can be extremely difficult to brush off. 

It has taken me a lot of time to reach where I am today, it can still be difficult and I’m definitely not where I want to be just quite yet but with these small steps I’m taking, I’m hoping it’s only a matter of time before I reach that end goal.  

Shall we?

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

The first step to addressing and working on a feeling or emotion? Acknowledging it. 

There was a point when I was at rock bottom with my confidence and I couldn’t see how I could ever pick myself back up again. 

There were times when I couldn’t necessarily pinpoint why I couldn’t be confident in some situations but as I’ve grown to realise what kind of scenarios are difficult for me, I’ve learned the importance of acknowledging those moments and that for me is the first step to working on those feelings and try to find ways to make them less prominent. 

I feel like once you acknowledge when your confidence is lacking, recognising those moments and finding strategies of making the situation less daunting can be the first beneficial step you can take in order to find ways around it.

OPENING UP ABOUT MY EXPERIENCES

I’ve figured that since starting my blog, my confidence has slowly grown with it. I’ve always found comfort in writing whether it’s a diary, a song, a short story or now, my blog, writing has always been something that has helped me escape. 

Noting my feelings and experiences down has helped me to better understand them and, like I said before, it’s all about that acknowledgement and finding ways of growing and moving forward. 

Now, I’m not saying that you need to start a blog to build your confidence but maybe incorporating something you’re passionate about into your daily or weekly routine can help you to find your strengths which can help guide you to the next important step, possibly helping to make any self-doubt slip. 

This kind of feedback has meant that I have eventually shared even more detail about my life online which is proof to me of my growing confidence, something I never thought would be possible to build up again a few years ago.

STEPPING OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE

This is probably one of the scariest, most daunting thing for me but maybe the most challenging thing can ultimately be the most valuable. 

I used to avoid stepping out of my comfort zone at all costs because I know how it made me feel, the anxiety it brought me and the panic attacks it could sometimes lead to. 

But I’ve made a conscious effort over the last year or so to do more of what makes me nervous and although I was shaking like a leaf before  a lot of the things I’ve done, all of them have played a part in helping me build my confidence. 

In the last few months, I’ve done things that I never could have imagined myself doing even this time last year but now with a few TV and radio interviews under my belt along with a few train journeys I’ve done independently and the small things like having a conversation with a stranger, I’ve started to believe more in myself, what I can do and the confidence I know I have, something I just have to dig deep to find sometimes.

I’ve found that I quite enjoy talking publicly about my experiences now, whether that’s in front of the camera or in front of a room of people. I try to focus on whoever is asking me questions, imagining it’s just a chat with them. After all, I can’t see the camera’s or the people watching in the audience so it’s easier to forget that they’re there, being blind does have it’s perks!

FOCUSING ON THE END GOAL

I never like to set my sights too high just because I don’t want to set myself up for disappointment if I don’t reach that target. 

But I find that setting myself small goals to work towards and keeping my focus on them helps me to remember the importance of taking even the smallest step forward in order to reach where I want to be. 

They might just be baby steps but every one I take means I’m closer to where I want to be, there might be challenges along the way but, most often than not, the end result will be worth it. 

BELIEVE IN MYSELF AND WHAT I DO

One thing I’ve learned in the last few years is the importance of believing in myself, what I do and what I can achieve. 

It’s taken me years to get to where I am now in terms of believing in things such as my writing, my abilities as a student and a lot of other things about me and my life and it’s still something I’m working on everyday. 

There are still times when my family and friends have to give me some stern words of encouragement but I’m trying to focus as much energy as I can on self-belief which I see as being a key step in this journey to a more confident me. 

It can be incredibly difficult but letting go of that negative energy can make such a difference to your life. 

FOCUSING ON POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS

If you type ‘positive affirmations’ into google, you’re likely to come across thousands of them, some of which might stand out to you and help engrain something positive in your mind. 

So many things have knocked my confidence over the years, from being bullied to being treated badly in other chapters of my life, it’s all played a part in my lack of confidence with some things leading me to believe that I’m not good enough. My mind still likes to drag me back to those moments sometimes but I’ve found that focusing on some positive affirmations can make a big difference. 

I’ve found that telling myself that I CAN do something can be that little boost that I need to go out there and do it, it’s not always easy but when you finally manage to convince yourself that you’re capable of something, that you are worthy and that you are good enough, it can make such a positive difference in the long run. 

Sometimes the hard part is the thought of doing something, lack of confidence might lead you to believe that you can’t or that you’ll fail but you won’t. 

Lack of confidence can sometimes prevent us from taking action but sometimes it’s about taking what we’re afraid of and turning them into a challenge, something we’re determined to overcome or work towards conquering, it’s all about taking small steps in order to pass that final hurdle. 

I know that anxiety, self-doubt and a handful of other things will hold me back sometimes and I guess it’s only natural that they do, there will be times when I falter, times when I’m unsure and times when I’ll doubt my abilities and strengths but what I ultimately want to do is work towards a more confident version of myself, a version I know exists, and I’m working towards finding the best ways of addressing the feelings that can prevent me from showing that person to the world. 

With all these small steps I’m taking, I know there will come a day when I’ll stand taller, be more self-assured and be the version of myself that I’ve hidden away for years. 

I think when we stumble to our lowest points, it can be easy to lose focus on what we want, building ourselves back up again can be a challenge. When we reach those moments, it’s important to take a step back, try gaining a little perspective and just breathe.  I’ve personally discovered the importance of re-evaluating, talking about my struggles and putting things into perspective. 

I would love to know if you’re someone who also struggles with their confidence in some shape or form, what steps do you take in order to build your confidence? Let me know what has helped you to blossom the most, maybe we can help each other with this one. 

Elin x