Five years of My Blurred World: A trip down memory lane

It’s been five years! 

So I’ve decided to hop on here again and, from here on out, I’ll be trying to restore my usual posting schedule in the name of normality. Everything will of course be shared with sensitivity to the current situation but I think it’s more important than ever that we continue to tease a thread of similarity to our life’s schedule before all of this and, to me, my blog is a huge part of that.

As a chronically ill person who’s been working and studying from home for the best part of the last two and a half years, I haven’t sensed any major shifts in my day-to-day routine but I have let my online presence slip over the past few weeks, so I’m trying to claw it back and hoping that publishing content on here again accommodates my needs for a dose of something non-virus related. 

Anyway, I digress, I’ll leave this intro at stay safe and look after each other. That’s all any of us can do right now <3

FIVE YEARS OF MY BLURRED WORLD: A TRIP DOWN MEMORY LANE

It was on the fourth of April 2015 that I sat in the comfort of my bedroom, carefully laying the groundwork to my first ever blog post. With an air of anticipation, I clicked publish, not knowing what was ahead but curious as to how this new online space could help me to shape some of my innermost thoughts into something more purposeful and hopefully helpful to others. 

That’s one of the main reasons I created my blog; my urge to raise awareness and help others in a similar situation has always been a pillar of my writing and I know that it will continue to be for as long as I keep this up. 

I’m taking today as an opportunity to reminisce about the creation of My Blurred World, so it’s only right that I talk you through some of the early catalysts behind my decision to hit publish for the very first time. 

If you’re a regular reader, you’ll know that I was registered as blind/severely sight impaired when I was 12 years old, six years after I was diagnosed with my degenerative eye condition, Retinitis Pigmentosa. I was starting to gain a better understanding of my sight-stealing disease at the time and recognising the ways in which it was altering my life.  

The feeling of isolation was steadily growing and I found myself scouring the depths of Google in an attempt to find stories by others who were experiencing something of a similar nature to me.

But my searches were often redundant with my findings only consisting of articles written by professionals in the sight loss field, along with innumerable statistics that only magnified my concerns. 

That was the last thing I needed at the time. I didn’t want a number, I wanted a story and so, when I stumbled upon the concept of blogs a few years later, it dawned on me that I could possibly share my own story in the hope that it could help someone else who found themselves lost on the internet just like I was a few years before. 

And so my blog was born out of this urge to create a resource, or a selection of stories rather, that I could have benefited from reading myself when trying to come to terms with my own sight loss journey. 

It’s ironic really, to think that, at the time I transformed my thoughts into this online space, I didn’t talk much about my disability with anyone. I only offered a rare glimpse into my symptoms, my anxieties and my grief with the people in my life and yet, I was more than ready to share my thoughts with an audience I hadn’t even been introduced to at the time. 

That’s purely a reflection of how easy it was for me to convey my feelings through writing. It’s been a very natural process for me ever since I was a little one so when it came to creating My Blurred World, it felt like a logical step forward. 

Some nerves naturally tickled my thoughts, especially since I had no idea as to who’s eyes would fall upon my words but my blog quickly became my comfort blanket. So many of my thoughts have come to life here and I’ve been able to tease them out into something which holds much more concept and strength. 

It’s fair to say that my content has evolved in so many ways since the early days of my blogging journey, (you’ll often find me cringing at my older posts since so many of them are flawed), but every article has helped to shape this space into what it is today so it would be wrong of me to take any of them down. 

My earlier posts reflected my growing passion for beauty and makeup coupled with a few insights into how RP was affecting my life, especially at school since I was in my first year of sixth form when all of this kickstarted. 

To begin with, my aim was to remain as authentic to the positive patterns that seemingly ran throughout my posts but the frivolity of the content I was publishing didn’t seem to cover my true feelings. 

As time went on, some feelings intensified and the only way I knew how to dim their strength was to write about them. And so I did. Now, My Blurred World offers a selection of insights into some of my most fragile thoughts and although those posts have been some of the most challenging to curate, they’ve also proved to be the most rewarding and my proudest to date. 

When casting an eye over my blog’s archives, I can definitely recognise the changes that have happened over the years in terms of my personal circumstances and the way in which I write about them. 

My writing has certainly matured over time and as I inch past the five year mark of my time as a blogger, I can confidently say that I’m proud of the progress I’ve made. 

Writing cushions the inner goings-on of my mind and whether the posts I pen are published or not, there’s always a cathartic sense of relief when I return to my keyboard. 

It’s not always been so straightforward, of course. I still don’t always know what to write and I sometimes still question whether what I publish will be of interest to others. So many posts sit in my drafts section, consisting of half-chewed sentences that I haven’t known how to round off. Sometimes I just have to admit that the words won’t always scroll across the page with ease, and that’s ok. 

However, I have launched myself into posts that I never thought I’d share with those closest to me never mind the curious minds that scroll through the internet. But here we are. I’ve covered everything from anxiety to confidence to concert experiences and I’ve been forever guilty of oversharing about so many other aspects of my life. But it’s been a privilege to be able to use this platform to raise awareness and hopefully serve up some reassuring words along the way. 

Whilst I’ve taken much more of a relaxed approach to how often I post on here over the past few months, I can confidently say that my heart is still very much in this. I’m simply taking my time to create content that I’m proud to publish. I strive to create a meaningful space in which readers can hopefully scroll through and find content that will make them feel something, whether that’s joy in reading about a concert experience, reassurance in knowing that they’re not the only one who has a love/hate relationship with their mobility aid or simply a pinch of positivity. 

I’m a firm believer that positive content can co-exist with deeper and more honest accounts of the day-to-day challenges that can come hand-in-hand with living with sight loss, and I hope that my blog provides a good balance between both. 

At the core of all of this, I just want to write posts that other people like me find entertaining or reassuring to read.

Away from the writing side of things, some incredible opportunities have stemmed from up-keeping my little corner of the internet. From having the opportunity to work with amazing charities such as the RNIB and Scope on some of their campaigns, to becoming a regular writer for Able Magazine and the VICTA UK Parent Portal and being a regular featured interviewee on RNIB Connect Radio, I could reel off so many of the wonderful opportunities I’ve been lucky enough to have had over the past five years. 

I never could have imagined when typing my first post that, a few years down the line, I’d be narrating my story on TV and radio programmes, being featured in magazines and publications such as Allure, Blogosphere and the Huffington Post, that I’d be speaking at events, winning/being shortlisted for awards, being named as one of the most influential disabled people in the UK (what’s that all about?) or even sharing my blog with the people in my life offline (it took me a year before I told my family and, even then, I was still riddled with hesitancy). 

But my family and friends have truly been the most incredible source of support, something I’ll be forever grateful for. My Mum dedicates hours of her precious time to help me with the photography you see on here and my Dad and brother have always provided me with their unwavering encouragement. 

I have to give a special shoutout to my friends too who’s motivational messages have always brought a smile to my face. Thank you for picking me up whenever I’ve faltered. You’re all true gems. 

I started all of this as a 16-year-old girl with no clue as to what I was doing but I’ve certainly learned so much since then. Five years on, I can wholeheartedly say that blogging has changed my life irrevocably. I’ve benefited in so many ways from the freedom it has allowed me in terms of my creativity as well as the people it’s led me to. There’s a huge sense of camaraderie in the bloggersphere and I found so much comfort in the online disability community when I stumbled across it. Being a part of this landscape and reading others’ stories has helped me to reposition some of the anxiety I used to feel so deeply and it’s been a huge source of reassurance for me to know that I’m not alone. 

My blog has flourished beyond anything I ever could have imagined and I have to give credit to everyone who reads for that. If you’ve been here since the very start or you’ve only just recently joined this little community of ours, I hope you know how grateful I am to have you here. 

You’ve helped me to mould this site into what it is today; every comment or message of support encourages more inspiration to flow through my fingertips. 

I’ve certainly offloaded a lot of thoughts on here over the past five years and I’ve bundled through this journey in a blur of delight and apprehension but, most importantly, joy. 

Building this blog has been a slow labour of love. I’ve dedicated hours upon hours to creating what I hope is somewhat entertaining content and I’ve poured my heart and sole into every word I’ve typed. 

As the years have gone by, I’ve honed in on what I truly love to create and afforded myself the opportunity to be open and honest in a way I never explored before. 

It’s crazy to think that a decision I made five years ago has completely altered where I am today but I’m so glad that my 16-year-old self made that choice. 

I’m in a completely different position to where I was on that lonely day in April 2015 and I have a lot to thank my blog for that. Running My Blurred World and connecting with others through this online space is an absolute honour and I couldn’t be more grateful to be in the position I find myself in today.

It’s been a journey full of love, support and comfort and I can’t wait to see what the future holds.

I think I’ll stop there otherwise I’ll be parroting what I’ve written already, either today or in the past.

So I’ll leave you with another heartfelt thank you. Your support truly means the world to me. Every comment or message I receive goes such a long way in terms of encouraging me to keep on sharing and I hope you stick around so we can navigate the future of My Blurred World together. 

Here’s to five years of My Blurred World and hopefully many more to come!

Elin x