Young and disabled: A message to fellow young disabled people

How are you feeling right now? Happy? Sad? Positive? Negative? Scared? Maybe even all of the above. These emotions can be some of the most prominent in our lives but when you’re a young disabled person, some might seem to surface a little more frequently than others.

Being a young disabled person can introduce a unique set of challenges, you might have to go through and contend with things that some could never even imagine. Growing up and figuring out who you are, who you want to be and where you want to go in life can be difficult enough as it is but when you add an impairment or health condition into that mix, it can prove even more challenging and it can leave young disabled people wondering all sorts about where their place is in society.

When I was younger, I couldn’t find the resources that I so desperately needed in order to feel valid and to be reassured that I wasn’t the only one experiencing what I was going through. So I want to use what I’ve learnt to help other young disabled people to know that there are people out there who can relate, who can provide a listening ear and people who are there to tell you that whatever it is you’re feeling right now, it’s valid, it’s real and it’s okay.

Everyone’s story is different. Some might feel completely comfortable with their impairment whilst others might be on the complete opposite end of the scale. Either way, I think we all go through spells of feeling neglectful towards a certain aspect of our lives and sometimes we can do with hearing some words of wisdom from someone else who has or is feeling/experiencing something similar to us. 

With that being said, I want to take today as an opportunity to write a message to fellow young disabled people.

What I have to say is by no means groundbreaking but as someone who has lived with sight loss since I was three-years-old, I have a good idea of what a life with an impairment can bring and there are certain things that I could have benefited from hearing in order to feel less alone. 

Whether you’re a fellow young disabled person or you newly identify as disabled, I hope you can take a little something away from what I’ve got to say.

You are not a burden

This feeling of being a burden permeated much of my teenage years and, to some extent, still lingers today. It’s like glue on your fingertips, sticky and stubborn to being washed away.

The feeling came into play whenever I asked for any kind of adjustment, convincing me that I was being a pain or an inconvenience when asking someone to guide me or requesting schoolwork to be adapted into a larger print or a more accessible format, adjustments I needed courtesy of my deteriorating eyesight.

I thought that my vision impairment was an inconvenience at times, but looking back now, I know it’s not and I want other young people to know that too.

If someone sees your impairment or requests for support as a burden, that’s their problem, not yours.

There are so many ways of adapting these days and there are people out there who are willing to help. You will never be a burden. 

It’s okay to feel like giving up

Disability can leave some people feeling anxious, broken, lonely, isolated and scared, I say this because I’ve felt all of the above for myself and these emotions have made me feel like giving up on the positives, thinking that they weren’t as prominent as the negatives.

Life as a disabled person can feel like a long and tough journey which requires a lot of adapting and I know how easy it is to feel frustrated by the barriers that populate our world.

Feeling like this is okay, it’s normal, but if it gets too much, it’s important to seek support. 

Once I started to realise that the positives were coming closer to my reach, I learned how powerful they can be – there’s always a glimpse of positivity even when you least expect it. 

Don’t be afraid to ask for help

Asking for help is one of the best things you can do, if only my younger self realised the benefits of it sooner.

I was a shy little soul, still can be at times, but my lack of confidence and my stubbornness meant that I was often left struggling with something because I didn’t want to ask for help. 

Please don’t struggle.

Make the most of the support that is offered to you and if you’re finding something difficult or tricky to comprehend, a simple question asking for help can make things so much easier.

I still need to remind myself of this one sometimes.

It’s normal to feel confused 

Living with an impairment can be incredibly overwhelming at times. You’re introduced to an abundance of tools, mobility aids and equipment that people think might help and it can all seem very confusing. 

I was diagnosed with a degenerative eye condition when I was six and it’s no secret that it took a good few years to adapt to that.

It was confusing, the future seemed unclear (no pun intended) and it was a lot for someone so young to deal and come to terms with.

But I want you to know that if you’re also feeling confused about your impairment or health condition and what it means for you and your life, it’s a completely normal feeling and, in time, that confusion will start to fade as you learn about your requirements, what support is the most necessary for you and how you can navigate the world in the most accessible way.

A mobility aid can be your key to independence

Oh, how I used to hate my cane – the thought of going out in public with it used to make me feel incredibly anxious. I wasn’t a popular kid by any means and I didn’t want to give people another opportunity to tear me apart or to make fun of me.

But once I picked my cane back up again when I was just about 17, I slowly started to realise that it could be my key to the independence that I so desperately wanted.

It can be scary, it can seem daunting, yes sometimes incredibly daunting but if it gives you the independence you want or need, doesn’t that outweigh all those other feelings?

I didn’t think so either a few years ago but I soon realised that in actual fact, embracing your mobility aid, whatever it might be, can be one of the most important steps in the road to acceptance and independence.

So, I might still have a few stares and glares but do they matter in the grand scheme of things? I’m out there, on my own being the independent person I want to be and you can be too. 

If you’re happy and confident when using your mobility aid then no one else’s opinion or judgement matters.

It’s all about learning

Disability is a learning curve, it’s all about finding out what works for you and what adaptions you can make in order to make life more accessible to you.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions, learn from others and, most importantly, take note of what makes things easier for you and let others know about what you’ve learned about those changes in order for them to gain a better understanding of how they can best support you.

Find your unique way of expressing yourself

I’ve found my passion since starting my blog, writing and blogging is my unique way of expressing myself and how I feel but yours might be through art, music, makeup or sport. 

Discovering that passion can be invaluable. It gives you the opportunity to express who you really are and show that to others. It can be your lifeline when you’re finding things difficult, it can be your escape. 

Claim your space

I’m not going to sit here and claim that anything is possible because I know of the barriers that disabled people face all too well. These barriers often come at the hands of society’s discrimination and prejudice and so it’s the responsibility of employers, organisations and services to remove them.

What I will say about disabled people is that we’re a resilient bunch and work tirelessly to challenge the barriers that are out there. We’re experts in problem-solving and finding alternatives. You are worthy of your place at school, work and in your community and whilst barriers and discrimination might try to convince you otherwise, you deserve to own your space.

Do whatever it is you want to do

You’re young, it’s your time to go out there and have fun, not that you can’t when you’re older of course. 

There are people out there who think that a life as a disabled person is a completely negative one, that having fun or achieving your goals doesn’t seem to tie into the scenario but it’s definitely not the case. 

We’re well acquainted with the barriers, I am quite literally as a vision impaired person – if you know, you know. But there are strategies and adaptions to make things accessible too.

I grew up spending almost every day of the summer holidays with my friends, going on bike rides, trampolining, going to the cinema, swimming and all sorts and although I couldn’t see hardly any of where I was going, crashing into things was all part of the fun.

Do whatever it is that makes you happy. 

Find your tribe and make the most of the disabled community

Friendships can prove challenging for anyone, don’t we all go through the motions with them? 

Even though I used to feel like no one would want to be friends with me because of my vision impairment, I was proved wrong so many times and I now have such a supportive group of people around me who will always be there to help, I count myself incredibly lucky for those people.

Yes, there are people who won’t understand, there are people who will judge, who will make snide remarks and who will make incessant attempts to get you down but there are also people out there who will pick you back up again, who will support you, people who will have your back no matter what and it’s those people you need to focus your energy on.

If you can, try to get involved with the disabled community whether it’s in your local area or online. Since I’ve become a part of the disabled community, the VI community in particular, I’ve found it to be invaluable and it’s helped me to realise that I’m not alone.

Speaking of which…

You are not alone

One of the things I needed to hear the most a few years ago and perhaps one of the most important messages we need to be told.

As I said before, disability can be isolating, especially for young people or even newly diagnosed people who are trying to get to grips with their diagnosis. The adaptions that need to be made and the terminology that seems to come at you from every direction can be a lot to contend with.

It can feel like you’re the only one experiencing what you’re going through, can’t it?

It can feel like no one around you understands the situation you’re in and how your impairment is affecting you, am I right? 

You might feel angry, frustrated, resentful, isolated, lonely, like you’re being left behind and maybe all sorts of other emotions, I sometimes do and so do many others.

Please remember that even though it might feel like a lonely place right now, there are so many people out there who are in the same boat as you, who might be feeling exactly the same as you are right now, how you have felt in the past or how you might feel in the future.

If you don’t feel confident to reach out and connect with fellow disabled people in-person, that’s okay. The internet and social media is populated with so many more disabled bloggers and content creators these days, they are all sharing their story in the name of raising awareness and breaking down barriers. A simple Google search could lead you straight to someone who’s words might be just the reassurance you need.

If that’s how you found this post, let me be the person to tell you that you are not alone.

Living with an impairment or health condition can prove difficult no matter what your age but if you’re a young person, like me, who is finding it difficult, I want you to know that although it can feel like life is throwing all sorts of hurdles your way, they can be hard to jump over but not impossible.

Although it can be difficult, life as a disabled person can also be rewarding, it gives you a different perspective and offers so many different ways of appreciating the world around you.

So, in short, practice self-advocacy, find your outlet and an accessible way of dabbling in that passion if you need any adjustments, surround yourself with the right people and remember that you are not alone. If you need a gentle reminder from time-to-time, check back in here for all of my other trademark ramblings and all things vision impairment.

Do you have a positive message you’d like to share with me or any other young disabled person? What has helped you the most in terms of adapting and finding positivity? I’d love to hear what you have to say. 

And always remember that you can reach me on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram if you ever have a question or if you want to chat about anything. Talking to others who are in a similar situation can be a big step forward, take it from someone who knows.

Elin x