Nobody is perfect.
As people, we are often quick to mention the things we don’t like about ourselves, the things that we might be insecure about. It’s not often that we take the time to acknowledge our strengths and the things that we’re good at. But, in some cases, pointing out our insecurities or our faults isn’t as easy as it’s made out to be.
I struggle with both aspects, admitting my weaknesses and admitting my strengths. It’s something I always refrain from as I don’t find it easy to talk about and I’ve heard others say the same.
I recently needed to write a critical review about myself and my work for university, I had to put a lot of thought into what study skills I was good at and what I needed to improve on. It sparked a thought in my mind about not only my study skills and my abilities as a student, but also, what my faults and strengths are away from university work and assignments. Hence where the idea for this blog post emerged from.
As I said, I’m not the best at thinking about my strengths and weaknesses, I always seem to freeze whenever it’s asked at an interview or when it’s asked in my day-to-day life, not that it is very often. So I guess, even though I often talk about myself and my vision impairment on my blog, this is a much more open and personal account of who I am. And I hope that some of you might be able to relate.
So, get comfy and prepare yourselves for what sets out to be quite a long post.
A lot of people have told me that they think a strength of mine is my positive outlook and the way I approach my life, I mean, it’s rude to disagree, right? I’ve said in a number of my blog posts that I love being an advocate for positivity, I like being optimistic about the future even though I don’t like thinking too much about it. I can’t deny that I’m not positive all of the time, in fact, I do have a lot of bad days and times when I feel defeated but one thing I’m good at is picking myself back up again, with the help of my family and friends.
I don’t like to dwell too much about the situations I’m in therefore, for me, focusing on the positives is my only option.
I don’t forget easily
I’m naturally quite a forgiving person, I don’t like to hold grudges as I find it’s too draining. But, something I do struggle with is forgetting something that has been said about me. If someone speaks badly or negatively about me or my character, those words will stick with me and no matter how hard I try, I can’t forget, not easily anyway. I still remember some of the things that were said about me when I was bullied at school, the harsh things that were whispered about me behind my back and even though I’ve risen above all the things that have been said about me over the years, they still linger in the back of my mind.
We’ve all been hurt by someone at some point in our lives, whether it’s because of something they’ve said or something they’ve done. If a person can speak negatively about you, it says so much more about their character than it does yours. From when I was little, I’ve always distanced myself from those people, I guess it’s my way of dealing with it and then, after I’ve done so, I can’t let them back in. I guess that’s the fear of being hurt again.
I do suffer with anxiety, something I don’t feel confident enough to talk about in depth just quite yet as it’s so much more than a few worries for me. But, I do worry about a lot of things, even aspects of my life that aren’t worth worrying about. It’s a sensation that I can’t shake off but it’s something I’m working towards improving on. If I’m anxious or worried about something then it can be quite obvious at times but on other occasions, I do well to hide it. It’s something that I’m working on talking more openly about and in a few months time, I hope that I’ll be able to do so.
Even though I do have my worries and I can be extremely sensitive at times, I am quite a strong person. I’ve gone through a lot of tough times in my life which have in time, encouraged me to become a stronger person and I’ve learned how to approach and deal with certain situations in the best way. Sure, there are times when I can still break down because things have escalated to be too much but that’s normally because I don’t always allow myself to cry, so it builds up over time, another thing I need to improve on.
People have told me that I cope really well with my vision impairment, but I have to in order to live a fulfilling life. However, I do believe that living with sight loss has made me stronger as a person as I’ve had to face and overcome all the challenges that come alongside it. Sometimes, the things that people think make us weaker are in fact the things that make us stronger.
I’m a perfectionist
I’m fully aware that perfection doesn’t exist but I often find myself feeling disappointed if I haven’t been able to make something to be proud of. I’m not saying that I’m a perfectionist to the point where I stress about making something the best it can be or that I turn into a complete mad woman in order to achieve that, because I don’t. Not that there’s anything wrong if I were to be like that. But, I like reaching the best of my abilities, I don’t feel content if I’m not completely happy with something I’m working on, whether it be university work, a blog post or something else and you’ll often find me working even harder on it to make it something I’m proud of, or at least happier with.
Maybe, I’m not a perfectionist as such, just a high achiever, someone who always strives to reach the best of her abilities and just feels a little disappointed when that doesn’t happen.
I put too much pressure on myself
I don’t often allow myself to have a day off, if I’m not doing university work, I’m blogging, if I’m not blogging, I’m looking for jobs or researching how I can kickstart my dream career of being a writer. Take the other day for example, I had to go back to bed because I had such a bad headache, I couldn’t concentrate on anything and all I needed was to lie down in a dark room, but I felt guilty that I wasn’t doing any work, i felt like I was wasting my day but in reality, what I needed to do was allow myself to rest because I wasn’t doing myself any favours by over thinking and pondering over all the things I could be doing.
It’s become more apparent to me this year of how much pressure I actually do put on myself, I’ve been disappointed in myself when I’ve not done as well in some of my open uni assignments even though I’m still averaging a 2:1. If I receive a mark that was lower than the last, I feel disappointed because I keep wondering what I could have done differently and why I didn’t reach the level I was at before if I was still working as hard.
Ultimately, in a way, the fact that I put so much pressure on myself results in me working extremely hard to complete my goals and aims. If I set myself a goal, in my eyes, it’s not an option that I don’t complete it. I work extremely hard in every aspect of my life, or I try to at least. It’s a trait I’ve always acknowledged in myself. I just need to learn to work hard for what I want to achieve without putting as much pressure on myself to reach my goals.
I like to help others
I like to offer kindness, empathy and sympathy wherever I can and I like to share my experiences in the hope that it can help others who might be in a similar situation. If you’re a regular reader of my blog then you’ll know the reasoning behind me creating this blog and why I continue to write it. Helping and motivating others is one of the main reasons and it’s what I’ll continue striving to achieve. I’ve had many people reach out to me, saying that my posts and what I write has helped them in some way and that, to me, is such a special feeling, it’s a reminder that I must be doing something right and a it’s a sense of achievement in a way.
My urge to help others is a strength I’ve always acknowledged within myself and it’s one of the main ones I’ll continue to embrace.
Some other faults of mine include; being a little too quiet sometimes, not talking enough about how I’m feeling and not believing in myself when I should. But, I also have many other strengths such as being a good daughter, sister and friend (I hope), and giving people a listening ear when they need it. I’m also very caring, loyal and empathetic. Granted, I can be sarcastic at times and I do have bad days when I find myself in a mood that I can’t snap out of but don’t we all? All of the above are a part of me and who I am and I’m proud of that.
I think that one of the biggest strengths of all is the fact that I acknowledge my faults and I accept them. I work hard to ensure that I improve on the slightly more negative things about myself and my personality but I also realise the importance of accepting the little things that help to make me who I am.
Nobody is perfect but I believe that in the grand scheme of things, our faults are ultimately strengths. Our faults help to offer us perspective, they’re a part of us and our identity and we can choose to change or embrace them. Our faults and strengths can help us grow, they help to shape the people we are and the person we want to be.
It’s easy to feel defined by a fault or a weakness and as I’ve experienced for myself, it can be hard to feel empowered by a strength when the thoughts of faults are so vivid in my mind. Sometimes, it’s good to take a step back and take a look at the bigger picture, consider the things that you think of as faults and if you’re not happy, think about how you can improve them and turn them into something positive. But, it’s equally as important to consider and acknowledge your strengths, what you’re good at and what things make you proud to be who you are.
Sometimes, our biggest faults become our greatest strengths.
What are some of your faults and strengths? Can you relate to anything I said within this post? Let me know in the comments as I’d love to hear from you.