Writing has always been an escape for me, a way for me to express my feelings without the sense of worry of telling someone else about how I feel. I’ve always found comfort in writing my feelings down on a page and I’ve realised that it helps me in more ways than one.
I’ve always had a love for writing, from creating short stories when I was a kid to composing songs as I grew up and then for the past few years, blogging. It’s always been my preferred way of expressing myself and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.
I am quite happy in telling someone if I’m having a bad day in terms of my eyesight or my chronic fatigue but talking about anxiety and mental health is something I’m quite skeptical about doing but I can’t explain why. If I’m feeling particularly anxious one day or at a certain point during that day, I hardly ever find myself telling anyone about it, maybe some might think that’s not the right way to go about it but for me, I feel much more comfortable when writing about it, I’d like to think that I’m not the only one.
There have been some occasions when I’ve told my family if I’ve had a panic attack or if something is making me feel anxious or panicky in any way, but the amount of times I tell them or my friends compared to how often it happens is probably quite shocking. Don’t get me wrong, I trust those people and it’s not the thought of telling them that’s the issue, it’s just the thought of putting the words together and explaining to them how I feel. I know that they would always understand and help even if I didn’t make any sense at all.
I thought that some of you reading this might be able to relate in some way so here are just a few ways that writing helps my mental health.
It helps me understand what’s going on in my head
Wording how I’m feeling verbally is quite a tricky thing for me to do, especially when talking about things such as anxiety. I find it hard to put my feelings into words when talking to someone face to face and I’m never able to explain things to people in a way that makes sense. But when I start writing those feelings and thoughts down on a page, I find it’s hard to stop and 1356 words later I realise that I did actually have quite a lot to say. Writing those feelings down helps me realise how I’m really feeling and helps me to make sense of it all in a way.
It’s my coping mechanism
As I said before, writing has always been something I’ve enjoyed, it’s always been my escape, a way for me to express myself in a way that I’m comfortable with. I’ve always felt better after writing something whether it be a blog post or a long ramble of a text to my best friend. I know I don’t get that instant feedback from doing these things (well I do get an always helpful reply to the text obviously) but for me, getting an instant response isn’t what it’s all about, it’s the fact that I’ve expressed myself in a way that makes me feel happier and makes me feel more at ease. I guess what I’m trying to say is that writing things down is my way of coping with them, my way of relieving the feelings that can start spiralling around in my mind.
It helps to clear the clutter
Sometimes I feel like my mind is a magnet, it attracts all the worries and thoughts I have and all of a sudden there’s about 37 mental tabs open all at once. So when I write, I feel like it’s a way of spring cleaning my mind in a way and helps to declutter all the things that I’m thinking about. Also after I’ve felt like my mind is a little clearer, I can go back to what I’ve written, reading over it helps me look at it in a more positive way and it allows me to think about the best way of helping myself and finding the best ways to cope with the things that might be making me feel anxious.
I don’t have to say anything
Confidence has always been an issue for me and although it’s improved so much in the last couple of years, I do still find that I get quite anxious about talking to people, especially about how I’m feeling. Of course, I don’t feel that way when talking to my friends and family but as I mentioned previously, mental health, anxiety in particular is something I still struggle to talk about. When I write, I find that I get everything out of my system without the need to say anything and for me, at the moment anyway, that is something I feel like is really comforting because I don’t have to worry about trying to put my feelings into words to explain to other people, I just have to explain it to myself.
I know that everyone says it’s always best to talk, especially about things like mental health and I’m working on it, I promise. And of course, I wouldn’t keep something extremely worrying to myself. Sometimes I just feel like i need to understand it first before explaining it to other people and that’s why writing helps me so much. I never thought that writing would ever have this much power and effect, but for me it does and I’m glad about that.
I know i’m not alone when it comes to anxiety and panic attacks and if you suffer with it too, I hope you know that you don’t have to face it alone.
Are there any things that help you with something such as anxiety? Can you relate to this post in any way? What do you find helps you and your mental health? I’d love to know if any of you feel the way I do about this,