Hello everyone and welcome back to My Blurred World.
I hope you’re all doing really well.
Today’s post is something I’ve wanted to write for a while now and it’s a letter to my younger self. I’ve seen these posts floating around the world of blogging and YouTube for some time now and I’ve always enjoyed reading/watching them so I thought I’d bite the bullet and write one myself.
I am going to be writing this as my eighteen year old self (which is the age I am now) to myself as a fourteen year old.
If you are confused by the idea and concept of this post at any point do feel free to ask me any questions.
I hope you enjoy today’s post and let’s begin.
I’m writing this letter to you to inform you of what’s to come in your life, I am fully aware that you might not believe me but I want you to take the time and listen. I don’t want to scare you but you are going to face a lot of challenges over the next few years but you’ll get through it, I promise.
School is ok at this point right? You have a group of friends around you that you enjoy spending time with and that’s great. I understand that you’re still dealing with people talking behind your back and saying mean things about you and unfortunately, that’s not going to stop any time soon but I need you to be strong, ok? You’ll get through this even though that little voice in your head tells you that you can’t sometimes but I promise that you’re going to be ok.
When it comes to your vision it’s not going to be easy. You’re going to suffer a major deterioration in your eyesight in the next couple of years and it’s going to stop you from being able to read print and you’re going to complete all of your GCSE exams in the medium of braille, but that’s ok, there’s nothing wrong with that and you’re going to do well and you’re going to be a stronger person for it. Your vision will eventually become less blurry but I can’t give you false hope, it’s never going to get better (not in the forseeable future anyway). I know this will get you down sometimes but as I said, you’ll get through it.
You’re going to decide to go to sixth form in a few years time, there’s no point sugar-coating it, it’s going to be the worst two years of your life, especially the first year. You are going to feel isolated and lonely. I know you’ll probably have tears in your eyes when reading this but I’m trying to warn you of what’s to come in the hope that you can deal with it better than I did. Your anxiety will build up and you’ll suffer some panic attacks but if you deal with it all in the right way, this might not happen. Talk to someone about it, don’t let all your feeling build up inside of you, don’t stay in that little shell of yours because it won’t help. Get out there, get out of your comfort zone and face the world as the strong, confident person you know you are.
Elin, I need you to be confident, I know that you’re a shy little soul but you and I both know that isn’t who you really are. You can be confident when it matters, try to be that person you are at home with your friends and family out in the real world. I know you can do it if you just put your mind to it. Being your confidence self will change your life, you’ll enjoy it much more than I did personally. You’re going to feel a lot of pressure to be confident and those two years in sixth form won’t help but if you put drive and determination into it, I know you can do it. You’re going to be sick and tired of everyone telling you that you’re too shy but prove those people wrong, show them that isn’t who you really are, I believe in you and I know you can do it.
You’re going to start blogging in your first year of sixth form, I know you’re reading this now wondering what on earth blogging is because you’re not interested in this kind of thing at the moment but when you do discover what it is, you’ll love it. Blogging is going to give you so many opportunities, it’s going to allow you to meet amazing people, one of those being your best friend. She is also severely sight impaired and you’re going to have a lot in common with her. You’re going to finally feel like you have someone to relate to and that’s going to be such a special feeling. She’ll always be there for you and you the same for her. She’s going to help you come through a lot and you’ll be forever grateful to her for that.
You’re also going to meet other friends online, these people are special so don’t let them go. Blogging is going to be your escape at some points, it’s going to be a platform for you to express your feelings in conjunction with trying to raise awareness of vision impairment and tackle the stigma surrounding sight loss.
You are going to apply for university but that won’t turn out the way you’d planned and you’ll decide that uni isn’t for you and that’s ok because a much better opportunity will come your way.
You’re going to apply for a job in the sight loss field, you’re quite skeptical about it at first because you know it’s a job which requires you to be confident and it’s going to push you far out of your comfort zone but it will make you stronger, it will be good for you, trust me. You’re going to be shocked when you receive that phone call offering you the job but don’t hesitate, grab it with both hands, I know you will. It’s going to be a lot better for you than university ever would be. But I better warn you that the job is only a placement for a year so you’ll need to think about your future. I’m trying to figure that out now. It’s not easy and I have no idea what I want to do. I’m hoping that by the time you’re my age, you’ll know what you want to do. I hope this letter will have prepared you for what’s to come, I’m hoping you’ll be much more confident that I ever was, I’m hoping you won’t be as indecisive. I know that this letter won’t change who you are but in some ways, I’m hoping it will change the way you approach life. Don’t hold back, just be who you want to be, don’t feel pressured or undermined by other people. Be the best version of you, just live your life to the full. Be confident, that’s the first step to being the you that you want to be.
Love from future Elin x
Thank you all so much for reading today’s post, it was a bit different but I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless. What’s one piece of advice you would give to your younger self?
I hope you have a lovely day/evening.